50

Not my age, but the number of posts on my blog. I actually have written 52 pieces since I started this exercise, but I have withheld one as I believe it too personal ( I know that is hard to believe, given what I have revealed) and another I have removed as I felt it might have struck a discordant note with one reader, and was not worth my risking that response.

What have you learned about me? You must have formulated some opinions if you have been one of the consistent readers of this blog. I actually am aware of how many people look at this blog on any given day. I don't know who you are, but I do have some idea as to repetition of visitors to the site, as well as new visitors. I know that some of you do make viewing of my pieces a part of your day. So what insights have you gathered as to the workings of my mind?

I find it interesting that I have revealed as much of myself as I have through the pages. Whether this is good or bad is up to you to decide. But it is clear that there is much of me that is open to public view. This may be my form of a psychiatrist's couch, but without the expense. You all serve as the collective doctor. You should analyze me and tell me as to the state of my mental health.

What parts of me ( mentally, not physically) still remain hidden in your estimation? If there were to be 50 more essays, where should they head? If you were directing the blog, what topics would you want to see discussed? Are my personal recollections of most interest, or entertainment value? Are my political ramblings of any merit? Are my observations of the human condition worthy of print?

I am sure I will go on posting my thoughts as they come to the forefront of my mind. They will undoubtedly cover the range of areas that I have touched upon in my first 50 pieces. I am hopeful that there may be a topic that captures me and carries me with it on a longer journey then just one short essay. I don't know if I even have the capacity within me as a writer to take such a journey, but I hope to get the opportunity to find out.

I am asking you to give me your insights and observations about me. You are reading this now and must have some thoughts in your mind about what you have read over the last 2 months. Have you thought that this is nothing but a narcissistic exercise? Do you believe that it has touched you or in any way made you think differently, or at least more closely, about any of the topics discussed? Has it changed your opinion of me, or of yourself?

I don't know if I am a different person from the one who sat down to write about Roger Clemens and Congress back in March of this year. I do know that I am enjoying the time spent in front of the computer screen trying to make my thoughts known to someone other than myself. In the long run, maybe the exercise of my brain is the real answer. Maybe what I have to say is less important than merely that I have created a discipline for myself in which I must address in a structured manner the issues that are taking up space in my head.

So, I take my leave of you now and head off to the rest of my day. I wonder if 100 is a possibility . I wonder if anyone cares.