Early Bird Special

I am an early bird special waiting to happen.

It was 8PM on Saturday night when Jo and I walked into the apartment. Our evening with friends in New York City had concluded. Midnight is now considered a time to wake from a deep slumber and maneuver in the dark to the bathroom, not to wander home from a social engagement.

You know it's a serious issue when you start to rate your friends by their dining, or bedtime routines. You have cut off a large chunk of society from consideration when you choose not to socialize with anyone who wants to go to a 9PM movie. Success of a night out is now determined not by how late it ends, but how early.

I am sure that many we have gone out with snicker, or just shake their heads. Even while they may enjoy our company, they are just finishing lunch when we are ordering dinner. It is hard from their perspective to see a future in our relationship, at least for the next 20 years. Most are simply resigned to tolerating our schedule.

As I look back, I see that the signs were evident even in my youth. Many years ago, when Jo and I were first married, we were at our apartment entertaining friends. I fell asleep on the floor early in the evening. The next time we socialized with this couple, I was given a present. The box of "No-Doz" was handed to me without comment. What was once a joke is now a reality.

So, for all of you who are now sleeping soundly, having recently concluded a long night of socializing, I wish you well. As for me, it is now 3:50 AM and I will try to get the second half of a night's sleep. I have been awake for 2 hours, after slumbering for 3. For the moment, I merely stare into the night and wonder why there isn't an early bird breakfast special. I haven't eaten anything in almost 10 hours and I'm hungry.