Happy's Ending

This morning, a neighbor of mine who I had not seen in sometime, greeted me with a cheery New Year's salutation. This came less than 24 hours after I passed along a similar warm thought to the unsuspecting teller at my bank, who was just finishing processing my first transaction for 2011. Why, I thought, are there not rules that dictate when enough is too much?

It seems like Christmas (excuse me, the holiday season) now begins in late November. Do we begin our merry congratulations right after Thanksgiving or do we wait a respectable period to allow the warmth of the turkey to fade before launching into the next round of holiday hellos?

I have been wishing my mom a happy birthday for several weeks now, even though it is not until January 8 that her 94th year begins. Part of the reason for the repetition lies with the specifics of her condition, but much of it rests in the fact that I perceive that it is somehow best to be the first and the last to give positive salutations regarding a consequential moment.

If I only had definition, it would make life so much simpler. For example, no anniversary wishes more than 2 days before the event (and that includes cards, emails and all non-verbal forms of communication). Or that holidays officially end the day after their 'due date'.

Speaking of due dates, I would suggest that 8 days after the birthing, when the Jewish male typically undergoes a "transformation' should mark the date after which congratulations to the mother and father are out of order.

The task is daunting, but given that there are guidelines for almost everything, it should not be so difficult for someone to come up with the official list of the beginning and end of congratulatory greeting periods.

And so, to my mother, who has 3 more days until her birthday, I would suggest that today is the official 'opening' of the event. For my son, who in 19 days will turn 30, I will make nary a mention of what your mother endured on 1/24/81 until 1/21/11. See how easy it could be if we had a set of rules instead of anarchy.