Round One (Won?)

AN EDITED VERSION OF THIS PIECE APPEARED ON AUGUST 9, 2015 IN THE RECORD


"And in the deep red corner, wearing merely a scowl and a menacing attitude, weighing nothing carefully but throwing jabs wildly in the air, with a record of however many wins he tells you he has, is the undisputed champion of the outrageous and absurd, the one, and hopefully only, Donald Trump."

In the first round of this 12 round fight (if it goes the distance for DT), it turns out that the referees were the ones throwing the haymakers, attacking from the opening bell as they tried to pin Mr. Trump against the ropes, making him raise his hand so they could  land a body blow labeling him a Republican/Independent/Opportunist. But Mr. Trump would not allow them to rope this particular dope, and slithered away. Throughout the battle he drew blood from Mr. Paul (attacking him as having a bad night), Mr. Christie (as having a bad Atlantic City), Rosie O'Donnell (as being Rosie O'Donnell), Mr. Bush (as being related to his brother) and Ms. Kelly (as being vulnerable to his counter-punching at any moment). This was hand to hand combat, not a debate.

Today the spin begins as the handlers for each fighter tell us of the victory of their combatant in the ring. Mr. Trump will no doubt be his own huckster, decrying his detractors and admiring his own footwork. Was the hair mussed? Were the scowl and the attitude stripped away to reveal a naked would be emperor?

This round, like those that come hereafter, will have to go to the scorecards to determine the winners and losers. We will not know whether Mr. Trump emerged bloodied but relatively unscathed until the pollsters tell us.

Our eyes and our ears inform us of little. Rather the numbers reveal if any real damage was inflicted. And if the attacks upon him and his responding insults and intimidations prove to do him no harm then we might well consider a new nickname for Mr. Trump: "Teflon Don."