The Rest of Mr. Trump's Top Hits

The recent article in the Times chronicled 487 people, places and things that have been the target of Mr. Trump's ire and disregard. However, the newspaper missed 13 others who have suffered the slings and arrows, the barbs and tweets emanating from the fingers or mouth of the man who never passes up an opportunity to insult. Rounding out the top 500 hit list are the following:

1. Jesus -  I have no respect for a guy who gets nailed to a cross - not a victim, just a loser, bigly.

2. God - he took 6 days and screwed things up totally. The only good thing he did was build golf courses, but I build them better. And he forgot that wall in Mexico.

3. Lincoln - what a joke - he couldn't run Trump Tower, forget about our nation. What did he have, like 13 states to worry about? I have 50 and I can handle it in my sleep. And getting shot? Give me a break.

4. Fred Trump - overrated. I grew up in poverty, walked six miles uphill each way to school every day. I am a self made man. Only I could have done this.

5. Mike Pence - what an idiot. Religious fanatic, refers to his wife as mother. Isn't that called an Oedipus complex?

6. Melania - still speaks with an accent after all these years in the United States. And now I'm stuck with her parents forever. Damn chain migration.

7. Tiffany - not my daughter - and who the hell is Marla Maples, never even met her.

8. Donald Jr.- stupid is as stupid does - another loser. Took that meeting without my knowledge, never told me about it and now look what's happening. I think he is colluding with Mueller. Oh yeah, that is called an Oedipus complex.  By the way, I graduated at the top of my class from an Ivy League school.

9. Jared Kushner - I told him he should take care of all the big stuff and what has he done so far?  I guess I have to do everything myself.

10. The greenskeeper at Trump National (or whatever all my golf courses are called) - the course played too long last weekend. Tell him to shorten all the holes for me by Friday. And the carts are too slow.

11.  Ivanka - she refuses to sit on my lap anymore

12. Donald Trump - I don't give myself enough credit - I am a true genius made to sound like an idiot by that idiot.

13. The American public - You can fool all of the people all of the time.