My Worst Nightmare

In today's NY Times there is a long letter to the editor asking the paper to publish more letters from women. There is then a joint response from the editors of the letters department, Tom Feyer and Sue Mermelstein, agreeing that this is a worthy idea. They make a plea for more women to raise their voices (their pens).

Below is my note directed to Tom and Sue, setting forth my (tongue in cheek) horror at this concept, 

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("A Woman's Plea: Let's Raise Our Voices")

Wonderful to see both your names in print, but it was like your pen was a dagger to my heart. Equal voice for women, if my math is right, means less voice for men, and in particular, one man.

Now not only do I have to deal with the cruelty of my 60 day detention every time I am in print (and if we are to be truly democratic then shouldn't each letter, each day be judged on its own merit and not subjected to preordained demise based on an arbitrary prohibition), but I must now face the reality that more women, many with far more talent than I, will likely leap over me in the hierarchy of your affection.

Woe is me. Here is a man's plea. Do not forget me, your loyal and trusted friend for a decade now. Maybe you could just cut H.L. back a little and leave me unscathed. Yeah, that could definitely work. (to protect the guilty for purposes of this post, I have only set forth the initials of my mortal enemy, the man who is the most prolific writer of published letters to the Times)

Sincerely (and I mean it)

RSN