GRANDiose

 Is mine bigger than yours? 

I am talking about the accomplishments of our granddaughters of course.

Getting ready for a bragathon as I face off against one of the friends I have been Covid missing since we took shelter from the storm in different ports.

I have 18 months of stored can you top this, each of us welcoming a new grandchild in the fold  in the interim while also collecting unmatched glories of our now 3 year old granddaughters.

There will 3 judges at this talk off, scores ranging from 1 (I would rather listen to Donald Trump discuss his 2024 presidential plans) to 10 (Mensa just added another category for a group of one). There will be 2 minutes for each tale, with a 1 minute rebuttal. The competition will conclude with 5 minute soliloquies, a reference to Shakespeare mandatory. Social distance and masking will be required throughout the debate, except when one of us has a really important point to make.

Our respective seconds will be requested to remain silent throughout the evening, no facial expressions, pinching of the arm or kicking under the table permitted. 

I have been practicing extensively for this opportunity, informing anyone within earshot, and some outside that corridor, of the latest incomparable act I have witnessed. Rumor is my opponent has been training with equal vigor.

There are local and regional tournaments commencing around the country. Each grandparent aiming for victory and an opportunity to move on in this national competition. The ultimate prize, a special on HBO,  "Everything You Didn't Want To Know About My Grandchildren."

It all starts tonight. I am ready.