A guest post from a lifelong Phillie fan ( Micah)

THE FOLLOWING ARE THE THOUGHTS OF A CONFLICTED FAN AFTER WATCHING YEARS OF SUFFERING COME TO AN END - HIS COMFORT BLANKET OF DEFEAT AND HOPE HAVING DISAPPEARED, HE IS FACED WITH A NEW UNCERTAIN UNIVERSE, IN LIFE AND IN SPORTS.

I've been trying to figure out what this whole phillies championship thing means
on a personal level…

I think the word "closure" best describes it. A closure of childhood is perhaps
what we all may be feeling in varying degrees. For me, this is particularly
bittersweet. My last year living in Philly, my last months in school…. I have
clung to my sports championship dream for the past 25 years with an immature
exuberance and naivete that has no doubt stunted my growth as a person. For
100 seasons (about ¼ of which I wasn't even following sports) I have saddled up
for countless man hours of phillies, flyers, eagles, and sixers watching…I have
put off countless tasks citing our teams lack of sports successes as a reasonable
excuse for my developmental procrastination. And though I cursed and cried
with the frustrating and unfulfilling ending of every season, I have ironically
come to feel a sense of chaos and anomy in the celebration that has followed
this one season that didn't end like all the others. I can't explain it but I miss
the warmth of predictable loss, inevitable futility, "there's always next season"s.

With the sharp dive of a Brad Lidge slider out of the strike zone, childhood was
over. I can't see myself being able to dress in kilts, capes, and face paint or
being able to ditch school or place fanatical phone calls to WIP any longer.
Aren't we above all that now? This saddens me. Without our despair, where will
our sense of urgency go that has defined us for so many years? I miss it
already.

As Hinske swung and missed I was mad at myself for having this feeling that I
felt I needed to suppress. I always envisioned feeling pure elation as
championship point would play itself out. In contrast, the devil (ray) within me
hoped for sabotage. I wanted victory, but I felt a sense of calm as Tampa got
into scoring position in the top of the ninth, because I would have been ok with
the more familiar choke.

I feel as though I'm spewing blasphemy. So many Philadelphians are claiming to
be experiencing the highest high of their lives, but I can't help but feel there
may be others who feel the same. Am I alone?

I'm thankful this happened while my feet still stood within thy walls, Philadelphia,
but now the sand in my 25 year hour glass runs thin. I suppose it's time to
accept the new responsibility that a world title brings forth… New York, here I
come.