If I Only Had a Brain

I would speak a little better

Read a book or write a letter

Stop drivin' you insane

I would stop all my tweetin', 

Stop behavin' like a cretin

If I only had a brain

I would sop up Keats and Plato

Or just stop bashing NATO

Maybe learn to fly my plane

I would start actin' nicer

Might even bring back Spicer

If I only had a brain

Oh I roar like a lion

But inside me I'm cryin'

Cause every little thing riddles me

Like one plus one, does it make three

Oh that Putin thinks he's so smart

But inside he has no heart

Oh he's drivin' me insane

I could shut up Mueller

Such a detestable fellow 

If I only had a brain

We could win the midterms easy

I might stop being sleazy

Might even cut my mane

But for now I'm a bad man

Just a really, really sad man 

Cause I don't have a brain

Oh I roar like a lion

But inside me I'm cryin'

Cause every little thing riddles me

Like one plus one, does it make three

That yellow brick road I'd sure find

The trip I know I'd not mind

Brave the wind or hurricane

Oh I'd be oh so clever,

Like Obama only better

If I only had a brain

Oh I'd be oh so clever

Like Obama only better 

If I only had a brain

COPYRIGHT 2018 ROBERT S. NUSSBAUM