President Trump Announces a Series of New Tariffs

("Trump Says U.S. Will Hit Mexico with Tariffs to Stop Flow of Immigrants")


President Trump today announced he would enact a 10% tariff on all Democrats until they become Republicans, a 15% tariff on all blacks until they become white, a 20% tariff on all poor people until they become rich, a 25% tariff on global warming until Hell freezes over, a 30% tariff on Roe v Wade until it rows and wades no more, a 35% tariff on the New York Times until it endorses him for a second term, a 40% tariff on Robert Mueller until he says no obstruction, no collusion, a 45% tariff on Hillary Clinton until she admits she lost the popular vote in 2016, a 50% tariff on Ruth Bader Ginsburg until she dies, a 55% tariff on Nancy Pelosi until she stops that phony clapping during the State of the Union, a 60% tariff on Colin Kaepernick until he stands up, a 65% tariff on Michael Cohen until he admits he was the one with Stormy Daniels, a 70% tariff on New York and California until they fall in the ocean, a 75% tariff on Barack Obama until he produces his actual birth certificate, an 80% tariff on John McCain until he changes his vote on Obamacare, an 85% tariff on China until it makes a really good egg roll, a 90% tariff on the Constitution until everything but the Second Amendment is erased, a 95% tariff on Russia until it pays him commensurate with the services he is providing for them and a 100% tariff on America until it changes its name to Trumpworld.