I am a letter writer
Been doing this way too long
Day after day and year after year
Trying to right the wrong
I take to the computer
And tell you all a tale
Making it up as I go along
Writing it down as I sing my song
Listen while I wail
I am a letter writer
See evil all around
Sin after sin, losers who win
Danger just abounds
I hate bad politicians
Who lead us all astray
Making crap up as they go along
Turning right into very wrong
That is the game they play
I am a letter writer
Telling papers what I know
The New York Times my best friend
When they put me in the show
And when they print my writing
My head begins to swell
Looking for praise wherever I gaze
Aren't I great all congregate
To say I gave them Hell
I am a letter writer
With an audience of one
Keeping myself entertained
Is all that I have done
I cannot move the needle
Didn't even make it budge
Making a name, trying for fame
Burned out an extinguished flame
Trying to touch the sun
And so I write this letter
In apology to you
A little man with bigger plans
Too big for his own shoes
I hope you will forgive me
I mean to do no harm
Doing my best to pass the test
Trying to prove I really could
With just a touch of charm
(riffing off Billy Joel's The Entertainer)