I used to bear malice towards none but that no longer holds
true. I cannot and will not forgive and forget the pain the Republican
candidate for President has caused me. What galls me beyond all else is
that I am prohibited from playing golf on any course with the name you
know who in it.
I mean I have withstood a lot. His face twisting, hand
gesturing, finger pointing, fact contorting dystopic meanderings have
often left me angered, bewildered, perplexed and just about every other
angst ridden emotion one can contemplate. This bozo leading the free
world. Please (not that kind of please but the ironic, rhetorical one).
But as that danger ebbs and we can begin to contemplate a
day when we will not be saddled with the world according to him, as the
sun begins to peek out between the clouds, as a warmth begins to reenter
my system even as the cold of winter begins to descend, even at this
moment when it seems we can begin to turn our thoughts to puppy dogs and
puffy clouds that look just like the profile of Abraham Lincoln, even
then his icy tentacles will grab a hold of me where it hurts the most
(not there, this is an ironic, not literal turn of phrase).
For nearly all my life I have chased a golf ball down any
fairway that my eye fancied and my wallet permitted. Of course (golf
speaking) those that built a wall to keep away the undesirables (meaning
those of insufficient weight, financially speaking) were well beyond my
sight and contemplation, but all others might one day find me hacking
and cursing within its boundaries (or possibly just outside its bounds).
But that uncontested truth is no more. No longer can my
gaze fix upon that long five, it's green guarded by white deserts or
deep rivers, nor my mind contemplate the swirling winds that bedevil me.
My feet will not touch this terra firma nor my dollars depart my hands,
if this patch of land contains even the faintest smell of you know who.
I have both friend and family who have sworn allegiance, at
least of the dimpled Titleist kind, to layouts bearing the name of you
know who. I have been invited as guest to some of these establishments
and have, in days past, occasionally found myself within their confines.
There is even, within striking distance of my home, one where the hoi
polloi and their dinero (sorry, English only spoken when discussing you
know who and his you know what) are welcome (muchas gracias).
But I have to draw a line in the sand that cannot be
crossed (sorry for that Assad reference). My family would lose all
respect for me if I meandered over to the dark side (metaphorically
speaking) and allowed the one whose name I cannot mention, whom I so
vehemently oppose, to benefit from my presence at one of the many
golfing homes bearing his name. I would lose all respect for myself, for
what is the worth of a man if his most deeply held beliefs can be cast
asunder for a well shaped dog-leg, a pretty face of a bunker, or a
perfectly placed hole (for those of you whose minds are now on the Bush
bus, please get off at once)?
And so I will cast my vote, pledge my allegiance, get down
on my knees and pray to many golfing gods but not this one. This is a
bridge too far, a wall too high, a hazard too severe, to traverse.
A universe where I am constrained in my hopes, my
aspirations. An America (and beyond) where there are places I cannot
enter and people I cannot see. For that restraint upon my dreams, more
than the other countless sins committed by you know who, for that there
is no room for forgiveness.
And if one day I should falter, if the passage of time and
the distance of distaste should dull my memory, if I should find myself
thinking that it could not have been as horrid as the picture I painted,
on that day may the golfing gods turn my driver into a snake and my
golf ball into dust.
You know who, a stain upon this nation, who could never
make this country great again in a thousand lifetimes, but who could
make (or at least alter) a few pretty good courses. Attempted killer of
millions of important dreams. And one of slightly less cosmic
significance.