I want his job. I know he must be brilliant, and witty, insightful and incisive, but I don't get it. Whenever I watch a closing segment of 60 Minutes and listen to Mr. Rooney's meanderings, I am mystified.
It is as if he walks into the room and begins a stream of consciousness discussion on whatever has just caught his attention. "Pencils. You know pencils were once an important part of our lives. Yet today, the pencil is an endangered species. I don't know much about computers. What I do understand is that they hurt the sale of pencils. I think the art of penmanship is going the way of the dinosaur. I will have to put my quill pen back in my drawer and only bring it out on national holidays."
While the above is a purely fictitious rendition of a Rooney sermon, could this have been a preview of next Sunday's masterpiece? My son and I often watch and just glance over at one another as we stare dazed and confused as Rooneyisms cover the screen. I love the guy, but this must be some inside joke at CBS to which I am not privy.
"Books. They sure have lots of words in them. Sometimes there are too many. Do you know how many are in War and Peace? Neither do I. Most people get scared off if there are too many pages. While they can't tell a book by its cover, they can tell a book by its pages. Too many and it's sorry, not interested. That makes me sad."
Mr. Rooney is an icon. I am an idiot. Yet sometimes, the distinction between icon and idiot is what side of the tv screen one is on. Just look at the Fox News Channel if you don't believe what I am saying.
I will, when next I turn to 60 Minutes, wait for Mr. Rooney's segment, and watch it until it is done. It does entertain, if nothing else. I guess, in the final analysis, that is all that really matters.
2 comments:
He has his good days, and his bad days, as well as his very good days and his very bad days.
As do we all, just not out in public.
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