Breaking News - Trump to Have Translator with Him at All Times

The Republican party has continually been making excuses for the Twit in Chief. It has been a full time job defending the oft indefensible remarks. 

We have been advised to ignore his words but rather look into his heart, yet we do not possess the necessary medical equipment. And so from China to Germany, from NATO to the news media, the Offender in Chief has done almost incalculable damage. 

Anonymous sources have now confirmed that rather than allow the ill formed phrases of the Idiot in Chief to go unattended for even a minute, Mr. Trump will never be left alone with his thoughts.

Instead, a new position has been created, Translator in Chief. The principal function is to defuse each nit-wit like phrase and turn straw into gold, or at least make it less flammable. 

There are several leading candidates. It is rumored that the favored choice of the President-elect is Sarah Palin. Something to do with her ability to see Russia wherever she looks. And that she and Mr. Trump apparently share the same reading list. And similar vocabulary. And she has nice legs.

But there is also the strong possibility that this post will be held not by man or woman but by computer. Watson, the machine that first rose to fame as a contestant on Jeopardy (the TV star in Chief's favorite intellectual program) has been recently interviewed. 

While no final determination has been made, I am informed that there is a seat reserved for Watson next to Mr. Trump when he delivers his Inaugural address this Friday.

But when asked if it was up to the challenge, Watson said there were some tasks that were just too hard. Even for it.