50 Ways to Gain a Pardon, 50 Ways to Gain a Pardon (thank you Paul Simon)

The problem is you're inside the pen he said to me

The answer is simple don't you know you have the key

I am the only one can set you free

There must be 50 ways to gain a pardon

He said it's really not my method to be crude

But I will tell you bluntly at the risk of being rude

And I'll repeat it to be sure I'm understood

There must be 50 ways to gain a pardon

50 ways to gain a pardon

Just fill up my till Will

Slip me a buck Chuck

Just hand me a five Clive

So be nice to me

Give me those ones son

You don't have to cuss Russ

Just repeat after me Lee

I hold my own key

Fill up my till Will

Slip me a buck Chuck

Hand me a five Clive

I'll be nice you'll see

Give me those ones son

And please don't you cuss Russ

Repeat after me Lee

I hold my own key

He says I know how you can be on the last bus

I tell you there's one thing you can do without a fuss 

I'm not a blabber so I'll keep this between us

There must be 50 ways

Don't wait, this offers only good for just one night

And every Dick and Harry has a shiv and wants a fight

So you best hurry if you want to end your plight

There must be 50 ways to gain a pardon

50 ways to gain a pardon

 

Just fill up my till Will

Slip me a buck Chuck

Just hand me a five Clive

So be nice to me

Give me those ones son

You don't have to cuss Russ

Just repeat after me Lee

I hold my own key

Fill up my till Will

Slip me a buck Chuck

Hand me a five Clive

I'll be nice you'll see

Give me those ones son

And please don't you cuss Russ

Repeat after me Lee

I hold my own key